Thursday, May 5, 2011

Daily Rice

I know a girl, and her name is Kelsey Meredith. I confess that I do not know about her beyond that I sing with her every day at chorus rehearsals, and I also admit that I've woken up from wonderful dreams in which the two of us were close friends. I cry sometimes when I awake in my bed from dreams that I fervently wish were real, especially if she or Silvia resided in them--Silvia, however, will be set aside for now. I have recounted my two-year encounter with Silvia so many times that I've begun to grow weary of telling it. But Meredith... she's quite something, she is. I'm used to referring to her by her last name as a result of knowing multiple girls with the name Kelsey (at least six or seven, and almost all of them are singers).

Meredith is someone I've known since... probably sophomore year. She's taller and a tad bulkier than I am, and she appears to go tanning quite regularly. I obsessed for quite some time over her hair; it is long, dark, and flowing. It trails behind her so gracefully like a veil. It's lustrous when she curls it, which she sometimes does; and it bears a silkier appearance when straightened.

I've found myself physically attracted to her since the beginning of this year. I cannot fathom why I would be so infatuated with her looks--and her singing voice, while amazing, lacks that charming sharpness that Silvia's voice exhibited. Her speaking voice is at times nasally and other times smooth and lilting; it is the ideal speaking voice, in my opinion, and slightly similar to the one I possess (or, at least, I believe to possess).

She walks into the classroom with her slightly vexing gait of arrogance, though her countenance shows slight hints of modesty in her intentions. She's self-conscious and therefore slightly heavy on the cosmetics; even without them I'm quite sure her face would retain the same ravish it usually does. Everything about this girl is soft yet firm and confident, and it's no wonder she's Kellert's favorite now that Lillian and Alicia have graduated. Though Kelsey's voice training has paid off incredibly well in the past few years, however, she still has yet to match some of the legends from my naive freshman year in the lowly concert choir. I remember sitting in the audience with the rest of the golden sash members and beholding the astounding beauty and grace that belonged to none other than the chamber singers--the bronze sashes, as your sash color indicated which choir you belonged to. Why the hierarchy of colors goes backwards I do not know, and have yet to find out; needless to say I have found it interesting--I've dedicated countless mafia games and stories to this theme, centering it around our school's choral department system...

I almost had Kelsey's number one time. The neighbor, an adorably cute eighth grader who won Kelsey's attention when they performed in the musical together, mentioned having her number while we sat in the coffee shop on a quiet weekend evening and I made the daring decision of asking him for it. He proceeded to text her about it, and her vague response caused me to chicken out of it. I cannot remember her exact response aside from the fact that it was short and simply made me feel uncomfortable, and that was that. I still don't have her number, and I still scarcely get to speak with her.

Alas, there are days when I'll utter her name and she'll utter mine; it's a playful gesture that sits so dearly on my heart every time I hear my name escape from her sweet lips. Though I may never grow close to her, it's still a comfort to know that she doesn't refrain from talking to me as Silvia would so blatantly do. Maybe someday things will be different; and my communication skills will finally have evolved into what I've always wanted them to be.

Today's rice: Chicken with onions, seaweed, and seasoned salt.

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